A year a week


I started to write
a little jotting down to capture a particular week.
Two sentences and a list,

A week later I returned and said it all

I lived an entire year in a single week.
A few more sentiments jotted down.

The same words scattered through dozens
of journals.

Fragmented glimpses through the
graveyard of my attempts to gather my thoughts
I am stressed
Frayed, Frazzled
a bit overwhelmed
off kilter
not centered
it’s all too much
I am standing in my own way.

These are often followed by determined words
I know what I need
To work out
to eat right
a glass of water.

Occasional the more profound

But these all seem harder than searching the internet
for the magic
Which does not exist.

So I will recommit to
Working out
A glass of water
giving myself the space and time.

So then I have lived an entire year in a week
and cannot understand
how time has passed so fast,
how I have done nothing, and never stopped doing.

A week ago my children were born
and now they are grown.

I think, I forgot to enjoy them,
I started to but them someone needed
to eat
to read
to wash their hands
to take a bath
to go to bed
to put on clothes
to get to school

and then we were fighting again.

Sometime passed while I just treaded water
trying to keep our heads from slipping into the dark depths.

I am fairly sure I forgot something along the way
to workout
to eat right
to save money
invest in myself
invest in my partner
enjoy my children
to clean my house.

I just can’t recall what it is.